The Wachelor:tm: The Game

(track: 'ping', 'play')You're sitting at home one day, just having finished a small Twitch stream and generally vibing, when you hear a 'ding' from your phone. You peer over at your phone to see that you've recieved a Discord DM from a user you don't recognize. The message reads: "Congratulations! You've been chosen to compete as one of 20 Wachelors battling it out for the affections of a single Wachelorette in this season of The Wachelor:tm:." You think to yourself about how you really don't remember signing up for any competition like this, but you think that maybe someone found your info from your stream and that's why you're being messaged right now. You think about how this kind of sounds like some kind of scam, but there's something that's so captivating about the idea that being presented, you can't help but be the slighest bit interested, even if it is a scam. As you're thinking about all this, you hear another 'ding', signifying another message. "But hang on now, things are a little different this time. Whereas normally there'd be 20 Wachelors competing in challenges and the boring melodrama of sticking 20 guys in one house and seeing just what happens, we're gonna try something different this go around, especially with this whole quarantine madness and all that. So we've gone virtual, and gone contest searching on virtual platforms! This season, we'll be having a number of virtual rounds where contestants will compete with each other using a variety of tactics to assert their dominance as the best Wachelor for our lovely Wachelorette. How does that sound?" You start to slowly type out a message, trying your best to really encapsulate your thoughts and feelings about the whole idea but before you can finish, the stranger sends another message. "Great! Great! But first things first. Why don't you give us some details about yourself?" The stranger sends a short list of personal questions. With an exasperated sigh, you decide to play along for now and [[see where this goes. -> Who are you?]] (set: $playerLevel = 0) (set: $playerBravado = 0) (set: $playerATK = 0) (set: $playerDef = 0) (set: $playerName = 0) (set: $playerAge = 0) (set: $playerHair = 0) (set: $playerEyes = 0) (set: $playerWeight = 0) (set: $playerMuscle = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'who', 'play')(set: $playerName to (prompt: "What's your first name?", "Vanity")) (set: $playerAge to (prompt: "How old are you?", "18")) (set: $playerHair to (prompt: "What color is your hair, or are you bald?", "Black")) (set: $playerEyes to (prompt: "What color are your eyes?", "Brown")) (set: $playerWeight to (prompt: "Would you describe yourself as either thin, heavy or more moderate (somewhere in between) in terms of weight?", "Thin")) (set: $playerMuscle to (prompt: "Would you describe yourself as scrawny, muscular, or more moderate (somewhere in between)?", "Scrawny")) "Alright, now that we have a little more info about you $playerName, why don't we introduce you to some of the competition? All of our competitions will be taking place virtually this season due to that dastardly virus. But on the plus side, you don't have to leave your home to win! Isn't that great? Okay, I'll be sending another DM along shortly with some more information soon. Toodles!" You sit on your couch, dumbfounded and confused as to what the hell just happened. You're broken from your stupor by the sound of another DM. You look down at your phone screen. Surprise surprise, it's the guy again. You open your phone to get a better look at the details of the message. Sure enough, the message details include a link to a Discord server, some meeting details and more interestingly, a picture of a girl. You think that must be the Wachelorette the showrunner was talking about. Well, she is pretty attractive looking. "What's the harm in looking into things just a little bit more?", you think. "I can always just back out if I want." And with streaming on Twitch being one of your only recent hobbies since you've been furloughed from your job due to the virus, you really don't have a lot going on right now. Somewhat hesitantly, you join the server and wait until the meeting starts so you can [[scope out the competition. -> The Competition]] (set: $playerLevel = 1) (set: $playerBravado = 10) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 10) (set: $playerATK = 5) (set: $playerDef = 5) (set: $insultAtkBonus = 2*$playerLevel)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'intro', 'loop', true)(track: 'intro', 'play')As the time rolls around, you join the Discord server. You notice it's pretty plain, with only a few text channels and voice channels to it. Despite that, most of the text and voice channels are themed around a room one would find in a home. Others seem more directly related to the competition, with channels for competition announcements, the competitions themselves, interviews, as well as others. As you're peering over the rest of the server, you see several users joining or already in one of the voice channels. Realizing that it must be time, you join the Discord call to find a screen full of profile pictures and active cameras greeting you. Before long, 19 other faces and bodies face your own, along with one black screen with a user simply named "The Host". You realize that this is the same user who initially messaged you. The competition itself is looking...interesting. You have your stereotypical muscle-bound jerk looking types, you have your geeky looking types, and of course there's plenty of Average Joe looking folks, which you're glad to see. You even see a kid or two who don't look like they're old enough to even be part of the competition. They look more like they belong in an Algebra I Zoom call than a Discord competition to fight over a woman. But nevertheless, all these types make up the general scope and feel of the competition. As you're perusing through the other competitors, The Host takes over the call. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Thank you all for coming out and joining me today, and more importantly, welcome to this season of THE WACHELOR:tm:! As you all know, this season of The Wachelor:tm: is totally virtual, because Covid sucks! But we're still gonna do our best to have a good time and to see one person get together with one lucky bachelorette! Yeah!" You see some of the competitors cheer and clap in applause. "Alright, now let's get to some of the rules for our folks at home. So, this season is totally virtual, as you all know. So instead of doing in-person challenges, we've elected instead to have all of our competitors go up against each other in battles to prove their superiority using a number of tactics at their disposal. Now some things are off the table of course, we're not allowing threats of violence and silly things like that....but competitors are more than happy to insult each other's mothers if they so wish. And that's about it! 20 competitors go in, only one will be left standing! So without further ado, why don't we announce the first set of matches! Ooh, but I forgot! A quick surprise! Why don't you all get a closer peek at just what you're fighting for, hmm?" As the announcer finishes his statement, a new user joins the call with a generic profile photo. But within a few moments, their camera is turned on and their microphone is unmuted, unveiling none other than the same girl whose picture was sent to you by the host earlier today. She says a simple "Hello everyone!" and gives a wave before muting her microphone again. You feared the room would erupt into chaos at this point, but most of the competitors are too busy in a state of wide-eyed and open-mouthed shock to say a word. [[Now then! It's time to announce the first matches! -> New Competitor]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(if: $playerLevel is 1) (display: "Chazzz Introduction")(if: $playerLevel is 2) (display: "Competitor #2 Introduction")(if: $playerLevel is 5) (display: "Competitor #3 Introduction")(if: $playerLevel is 8) (display: "Competitor #4 Introduction")(if: $playerLevel is 12) (display: "Competitor #5 Introduction")(if: $playerLevel is 15) (display: "Competitor #6 Introduction")(if: $playerLevel is 18) (display: "Competitor #6 Introduction")

How do you want to do this? (if: $debuffCounter > 0)[(print: "Dance Debuff Turns Remaining: ")(print: $debuffCounter)] [[Flirt. -> Action Results 1]] - Main offensive move. Deals damage to enemy Bravado. [[Insult. -> Action Results 2]] - Secondary offensive move. Deals more Bravado damage than Flirt, but at a cost. [[Dance. -> Action Results 3]] - Debuff move. Lowers enemy defense for 2 turns, decreasing resistance to all offensive attacks. (if: $poseTracker > 1) [No more poses available this battle!] (else:) [[[Pose. -> Action Results 4]]] - Primary healing move. Restores a partial amount of Bravado, with a small chance of restoring a great amount of Bravado. Also deals some Bravado damage. Limited use per battle. (if: $debuffCounter is 0) [(set: $enemyDef = 3)] (else:) [(set: $debuffCounter = $debuffCounter -1)]

How do you want to do this? (if: $debuffCounter > 0)[(print: "Dance Debuff Turns Remaining: ")(print: $debuffCounter)] [[Flirt. ->Action Results (All) 1]] - Main offensive move. Deals damage to enemy Bravado. [[Insult. ->Action Results (All) 2]] - Secondary offensive move. Deals more Bravado damage than Flirt, but at a cost. [[Dance. ->Action Results (All) 3]] - Debuff move. Lowers enemy defense for 2 turns, decreasing resistance to all offensive attacks. (if: $poseTracker > 2) [No more poses available this battle!] (else:) [[[Pose. ->Action Results (All) 4]]] - Primary healing move. Restores a partial amount of Bravado, with a small chance of restoring a great amount of Bravado. Also deals some Bravado damage. Limited use per battle. (if: $debuffCounter is 0) [(set: $enemyDef = $enemyMaxDef)] (else:) [(set: $debuffCounter = $debuffCounter -1)]

How do you want to do this? (if: $debuffCounter > 0)[(print: "Dance Debuff Turns Remaining: ")(print: $debuffCounter)] [[Flirt. ->Action Results (All) 1]] - Main offensive move. Deals damage to enemy Bravado. [[Insult. ->Action Results (All) 2]] - Secondary offensive move. Deals more Bravado damage than Flirt, but at a cost. [[Dance. ->Action Results (All) 3]] - Debuff move. Lowers enemy defense for 2 turns, decreasing resistance to all offensive attacks. (if: $poseTracker > 2) [No more poses available this battle!] (else:) [[[Pose. ->Action Results (All) 4]]] - Primary healing move. Restores a partial amount of Bravado, with a small chance of restoring a great amount of Bravado. Also deals some Bravado damage. Limited use per battle. (if: $debuffCounter is 0) [(set: $enemyDef = $enemyMaxDef)](else:) [(set: $debuffCounter = $debuffCounter -1)]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'go', 'play') <center>GAME OVER</center> (if: $playerLevel is 1)[(set: $playerBravado = 10) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 10) [[Retry? ->Chazzz Introduction]] [[Give up? -> Give Up]]] (else-if: $playerLevel is 2) [(set: $playerBravado = 15) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 15) [[Retry? ->Competitor #2 Introduction]] [[Give up? -> Give Up]]] (else-if: $playerLevel is 5) [(set: $playerBravado = 30) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 30) [[Retry? ->Competitor #3 Introduction]] [[Give up? -> Give Up]]] (else-if: $playerLevel is 8) [(set: $playerBravado = 45) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 45) [[Retry? ->Competitor #4 Introduction]] [[Give up? -> Give Up]]] (else-if: $playerLevel is 12) [(set: $playerBravado = 75) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 75) [[Retry? ->Competitor #5 Introduction]] [[Give up? -> Give Up]]] (else-if: $playerLevel is 15) [(set: $playerBravado = 100) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 100) [[Retry? ->Competitor #6 Introduction]] [[Give up? -> Give Up]]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'giveup', 'play') You have dropped out of the competition after your loss. But it's not all a loss. At least you don't have to do that shit anymore. [[Play again? ->Plot Intro]]

You feel terribly awkward about it, but you flirt with the child that is Chazzz. He sputters and gasps, visibly distressed.(set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado - ($playerATK - $enemyDef)) (if: $playerBravado < 1) [ Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[$enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! You win! -> You Win! 1]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! Chazzz's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (Chazzz)]]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'victory', 'play')And within a final decisive hit, Chazzz is sent into a state of extreme panic, throwing his headphones his parents probably bought for him to the ground and fleeing from the Discord call entirely. Ooh, looks like Chazzz couldn't keep up the momentum! And that means that our winner isssss....$playerName! Congratulations! You're going on to the next round! Feel free to take a seat and relax, and watch the other matches! Speaking of which, OUR NEXT TWO COMPETITORS ARE.... You breathe a sigh of relief, the first battle of this competition firmly under your belt now. You think back to how you were hesitant to even be a part of this wacky thing, but now that you're here it feels somewhat...cathartic, like some tension has been lifted off your shoulders. It feels good. Maybe that's just the sensation of joy from putting an arrogant shithead in his place, but you feel REALLY good. Nevertheless, the other matches in the first round of competition go off without a hitch. 3 other matches play out, each with their own victor and loser, before The Host pulls all the competitors back into the main channel. ALLLLLLLLLLRIGHT folks, thank you for providing such excellent first round matches! For our losers still with us, I'm sorry, but you are no longer a part of this competition. You're welcome to stick around and watch the other matches, but your time competing has come to a close. For everyone else who won here today, or hasn't had their first matches yet, congratulations! Our next series of matches will take place right here, next week, same time, same place. That's all for now, I will see you alllllll next time! Bye Bye! And with that, you're left to your own with a week to prepare for the next series of battles. But first, [[it's time for a nap. -> New Competitor]] (set: $playerLevel = 2)(set: $playerBravado = 15)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 15)(set: $playerATK = 10)(set: $playerDef = 10)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 2)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

You strike a manly pose, flexing those muscles that you definitely have. Chazzz shudders in horror. (if: (random: 0, 9) is 9) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado + (ceil:$playerMaxBravado/2))](else:) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado + (ceil:($playerMaxBravado/4)))](if: $playerBravado > $playerMaxBravado) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerMaxBravado)](set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado - ((round:$playerATK/4))) (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[$enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! You win! -> You Win! 1]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (Chazzz)]]] (set: $poseTracker = $poseTracker + 1)

You do the monkey (Johnny Bravo!) and flex on Chazzz. He can't take the raw manliness of The Monkey! Chazzz's Defense is cut in half! (set: $enemyDef = (floor: $enemyDef/2))(set: $debuffCounter = 2) (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[$enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! You win! -> You Win! 1]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (Chazzz)]]]

You deliver a scathing insult to Chazzz, that even if he were twice his age, you don't think anyone would want to date him. Chazzz just looks hurt.(set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado - (($playerATK + $insultAtkBonus) - $enemyDef)) (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[$enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! You win! -> You Win! 1]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (Chazzz)]]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'victory', 'play')Following that subsequent blow, Butch's Bravado is dropped below zero, adding yet another competitor's broken ego to your kill count. It goes without saying that Butch is not happy. (font: "Times New Roman") [You fucking b****! You A*****! F*** you! You piece of s***! I should have won! I'm the one who's good at this! I should have won, NOT YOU!] Can someone please escort Butch off of the premises....oh wait, I'm the one who does that now. Buh-bye, Butch! The band of "People Who've Been Banned from the Wachelor Discord" just gained another member. Well played $playerName, well played! Congratulations on securing a quarterfinal position here in the competition! Not bad for a newbie, if you don't mind my saying! But this is your moment! Take it in! Congratulations again! But let's not hold up the show too long, we've got more EXCITING FIGHTS TO GET TOOOOOO! You decide to duck out of the call early. Hearing Butch lay out insult after insult at you just now, as well as the general toil of the competition, has left you dead tired and worn-out, so you opt to retire early this evening. And with that, you're left to your own with a week to prepare for the next series of battles. But first, [[it's time for a nap. -> New Competitor]] (set: $playerLevel = 12)(set: $playerBravado = 75)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 75)(set: $playerATK = 55)(set: $playerDef = 60)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 8)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'victory', 'play')And with another grand hit, Brad's Bravado drops below zero, marking you as the winner of yet another battle in the marathon that is this competition. You know none of these fights are "real", and yet, you're left panting and out of breath after that entire endeavor. Brad is in a similar state, but he brings himself together quicker than you do. You get the idea that if this had been a real fight, he'd be the one picking you up off the ground, even if he was the loser. (font: "Verdana") [You fought well. I respect that. Don't let my loss to you be in vain. You better take home this whole damn thing.] Brad doesn't flee like everyone else you fought has. No, he seems to be sticking around. In fact, he's even smiling in the face of defeat, as crazy as that might seem in this moment. Wow wow WOOOOOW! What a show! What a match! I'd be screaming for an encore if we weren't out of time! You two really killed it out there OH MY LORD! But one star had to shine brighter than the other, and that's $playerName! I'm sorry Brad, but your star has gone dark, and your time in this competition is over. Brad doesn't say anything back, just giving a nod. And with that, our matches for this week are all wrapped up! Our quarterfinalists have been selected! And after next week, we'll have 4 semi-finalists And with that, you're left to your own with a week to prepare for the next series of battles. But first, [[it's time for a nap. -> New Competitor]] (set: $playerLevel = 8)(set: $playerBravado = 45)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 45)(set: $playerATK = 34)(set: $playerDef = 40)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 6)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'victory', 'play')And with that, another battle ends and another competitor goes down by your hands. Arthur however, is wild-eyed and bewildered. (font: "Papyrus") [T-this is impossible! Y-you must have cheated! How d-did you do it? How!] Before you could even consider trying to respond, The Host butts back into the spotlight. Now now Arthur my boy, $playerName here won fair and square. You gave it your best but you didn't succeed. I'm afraid to say your time in our competition has come to an end, my friend....no, not friend. Colleague? Acquaintance? Sure, that sounds good! My acquaintance! (font: "Papyrus") [T-this is an outrage! This is impossible! You'll hear from my dad for this! He works for Discord and Nintendo!] I'm sure we will Arthur! Goodbye now! Toodles! You watch as Arthur is unceremoniously banned from the Discord following his outburst. Well well well, $playerName, you sure do seem to impress with every match! We'll be looking forward to seeing more of you soon! Anyway, on with the fights, the drama, the action! Let's call in our next two competitors! And with that, you're left to your own with a week to prepare for the next series of battles. But first, [[it's time for a nap. -> New Competitor]] (set: $playerLevel = 5)(set: $playerBravado = 30)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 30)(set: $playerATK = 22)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 5)(set: $playerDef = 25)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'finalv', 'play')[[Finale. -> Finale.]] (set: $playerLevel = 20) (set: $playerBravado = 150) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 150) (set: $playerATK = 125) (set: $playerDef = 125) (set: $debuffCounter = 0) (set: $poseTracker = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'record', 'play') With a finishing glance, Adrian's Bravado is brought down to zero, as you fell yet another competitor, cementing yourself as a finalist. And with that, you're left to your own- [[Wait, hold on just a minute. -> There's a Twist]] (set: $playerLevel = 15)(set: $playerBravado = 100)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 100)(set: $playerATK = 85)(set: $playerDef = 95)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'over', 'loop', true)(track: 'over', 'play') With a stunning final smash, you knock Biff out of the finals. You pant hard after a long fought battle. But you are the winner. HOLY SHIT! $playerName HAS DONE IT! THEY'VE TAKEN DOWN BIFF! Biff, I'm sorry man, you put in one hell of a fight! But $playerName just managed to overtake you! But, I am happy to announce that you are our runner-up in this season of "The Wachelor:tm:"! Congratulations! Biff looks....less than pleased. (font: "Impact") [I have no desire to take second place. I tried. I lost. That's it. I'll come back eventually. I'll prove my strength however it takes. And that day, I will become the true champion.] And with those parting words, Biff leaves the Discord server. Damn, talk about edgyyyy....but enough of that! CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN $playerName! You took down Biff and are our champion on this virtual season of "The Wachelor:tm:"! Buuuuuuut....now that you've won, I suppose we should bring out the Wachelorette! Let's give her a hand, everybody at home! Within a few minutes, The Wachelorette herself graces the voice channel with her presence. Alright! I'll leave you two alone for a little while, okay? Great! The Host leaves the Dicord channel, but you get a feeling he's gonna pop back in sooner or later, whether you like it or not. (font: "Garamond") [Hey, I've been tracking your matches, along with all the other competitors. I've got to say, I didn't expect you to make it, but I'm....very happy with that.] You're taken aback a little bit by the words, but you figure you should at least give her a chance to explain before butting in. (font: "Garamond") [You're not quite like all the others. While you've done your fair share of bringing down other people, you've found your own way of doing things too. You do funny poses, you dance. Things I wouldn't expect from someone in this kind of competition. But you've made it here all by doing things differently. And I like that. It makes me happy.] You wait for her to say anything else, but The Host joins back into the call before The Wachelorette says anything more. Alright you two lovebirds! I think we've seen enough here! You two were fated to be together, and now here you both are, together at last! That's the true meaning of this show after all; bringing people together! Sure, we might put each other down along the way, but it's all in the name of love! Right? Right....? Ah fuck it, don't worry about that last part! What matters more are all of you watching at home, who've stuck through this entire wacky virtual season with this! Thank you all, and hopefully we'll see you next time! Congratulations! You've beaten the game! Give yourself a pat on the back, ya deserve it! If you want to start the game over, [[click here! ->Title Screen]] Otherwise, feel free to exit out of this window! Thank you for playing!

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'chazzz', 'loop', true)(track: 'chazzz', 'play')(set: $playerResponse to (prompt: "What would you like to tell Chazzz?", "Oh yeah? Try saying that to me again when half your teeth are on the floor, s***head.")) You throw it right back in Chazzz's face. "$playerResponse". You hear an audible gasp and blubbering over Chazzz's microphone, totally caught off-guard from your retort. And $playerName throws it right back at Chazzz! You love to see it folks! Now then! [[Let's get this battle underway! -> Battle 1]] (set: $enemyName = "Chazzz")(set: $enemyLevel = 1) (set: $enemyBravado = 10)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 10)(set: $enemyATK = 5)(set: $enemyDef = 3)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'chazzz', 'loop', true)(track: 'chazzz', 'play')You think to yourself about how this kid's proving to be an absolute shithead already, but he isn't worth stooping down to his level for. You opt to not say anything over the mic. Ooh, the silent type! And not baiting back into Chazz either! I respect it! Alright you two, [[let's get this battle underway! -> Battle 1]] (set: $enemyName = "Chazzz")(set: $enemyLevel = 1) (set: $enemyBravado = 10)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 10)(set: $enemyATK = 5)(set: $enemyDef = 3)

(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado - (($enemyATK +2) - $playerDef))(if: $playerBravado > $playerMaxBravado) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerMaxBravado)]Chazzz (either: "throws out a yo mama joke, because he is a child and can't come up with anything better.", "tries to come up with some brilliant insult that your nose looks bad, but botches it horribly and screams in frustration.", "goes on a long tirade about how he deserves to win and about how every single other person in this competition is beneath him, which is kinda sad really.", "prattles on in a very entitled way to the displeasure of everyone within a 50 mile radius") (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! Chazzz's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! Chazzz's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Chazzz's Bravado has fallen below zero! You win! -> You Win! 1]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! Chazzz's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Battle 1]]]

(track: 'kefka', 'play')The Host fills the competition channels with an image of a bracket, complete with all the names of the current competitors. After, The Host fills channels with pictures of the competitors taking place in this round of matches in the competition. You're quick to notice that only 4 battles will be taking place in the first round, with some competitors getting a bye on the first round. Unfortunately, this doesn't include you. Your first opponent is....one of the little kids. Great. The Host takes the floor once more. Alright! And there are our first matches! Now I'm sure some of you smart cookies at home have noticed that some competitors don't have a battle this first round. And you'd be correct! In the interest of fairness, we'd thought we'd allow some of the new blood of our competition to get better acquainted with the way our little show works and let some of our show's veteran players take a bye round, and get a little entertainment at the same time! "Wait, veteran players?", you think to yourself. "The Host certainly didn't bring that up before. They let old players compete again? That's probably not fair." Now don't you worry too much, you newbies you! Just because they've played before doesn't mean they're experts! All our old dogs are players who didn't advance too far into the competition in our previous seasons! So they might be just as new to our virtual format as you are! And without too much more banter, let's get straight into our first match between $playerName and Chazzz! <img src = "https://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000148878978-rxkepg-t500x500.jpg" width="400" height ="400"> You and the little twerp whose name you now know is Chazzz are pulled into a separate competition voice channel by The Host, who joins you a moment later. Alright you two! Any final words before the fight begins? Chazzz speaks up before you even get a chance to open your mouth. (font: "Comic Sans MS") ["Be sure to tell your mom I said hello when you go crying to her after you lose, twat."] Fuck, this kid's shaping up to be a shithead before the fight's even started. Ooh, Chazzz with a zinger before the fight's even started! $playerName, any words? [[Would you like to reply to Chazzz before the fight starts? -> Fuck Chazzz]] [[Or grit your teeth and let it go? -> Chazzz ain't worth it]] (set: $playerLevel = 1) (set: $playerBravado = 10) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 10) (set: $playerATK = 5) (set: $playerDef = 5) (set: $insultAtkBonus = 2*$playerLevel)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'intro', 'loop', true)(track: 'intro', 'play') You've had a week to prepare and to settle your worldly affairs before diving headfirst back into the madhouse that is "The Wachelor:tm:" It's now Week 2. You've made it through the tribulations from the first week, gotten over the initial anxieties and pressures of becoming a part of this whole affair in the first place, but those feelings have been replaced with a new anxiety over just who the hell you'll be matched up with this time. If Chazzz was the first thing that ended up getting thrown at you, just what other kinds of competitors could be in store? At the scheduled time, you meet up in the main voice channel for the competition. Interestingly, you note that Chazzz is entirely absent from the server. Clearly, he didn't just flee from the end of the last fight, he fled from everything competition-related. As you're perusing over the webcams and users that you recognize and remember from last week, The Host joins into the call. WELCOME BACK EVERYONE, to this week's episode of "The Wachelor:tm:"! Nice to see everyone back for another week! How's everybody feeling, good, good? I love to hear it! Well, let's get right into the action! Here are this week's pairings! Similar to the previous week, The Host fills one of the channels in the server with images of new sets of competitors for this week's round of battles. You notice that you're set to go up against someone named [[Arthur. ->Arthur Introduction]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'intro', 'loop', true)(track: 'intro', 'play') You've had a week to prepare and to settle your worldly affairs before diving headfirst back into the madhouse that is "The Wachelor:tm:" As with every other week so far, yourself and all of the competitors and dropouts who choose to remain get together in the Discord server at the scheduled time, eagerly awaiting the arrival of The Host. He's a few minutes late this time around, but his ever-constant frenetic energy would make you just about forget the fact. Hoooooooowdy folks, and welcome back to "The Wachelor:tm:"! We've got a grand old show for you this time! Things are heating up around here as we're getting closer and closer to our quarterfinals matchups! Whoever wins in this set of matches today will OFFICIALLY become quarterfinalists in this season of the competition! Isn't that great? Some of the competitors clap and cheer, but others aren't so amused, seemingly transfixed on the upcoming bout of combat. Well, I know you all are looking forward to seeing who you're all going up against this week, so to avoid stalling any longer, let's get roiiiiiiiiiiiight into the picks! In typical fashion so far, The Host lays out the matchups that'll be taking place this week in the competition. This week, it's you up against....Brad. The star of last week, who took out Pietro with little to no challenge at all. This might be....difficult. However, you've got some additional time to prepare, as you two are the last fight of the day. Over the course of the other fights, you get yourself psyched up, rehearse your lines and your moves that you plan on using, stay hydrated, and [[get ready to go. ->Brad Introduction]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'intro', 'loop', true)(track: 'intro', 'play') You've had a week to prepare and to settle your worldly affairs before diving headfirst back into the madhouse that is "The Wachelor:tm:". "Another week, another foray into this madness that is 'The Wachelor:tm'", you think to yourself as the minutes tick by until the next set of matches begin. As is par for the course, the remaining competitors, the Wachelorette herself and The Host show up, ready to kick off the competition anew. Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, fabulous members of our audience, to "The Wachelor:tm:"! This week will surely be exciting! Our quarterfinalists will be going head to head to head to head to head to head, oh you get the idea! Our final 8 members! Let's see who's going at it this time! This go around, it's you versus someone named Butch. From what you can tell, he looks like a regular asshole. The kind of jerk who'd push kids into lockers and assert that he's the best kid in school just because he's on the football team. Guys like him are a dime a dozen, and you've certainly seen your share. Nevertheless, a few other matches play out before you and Butch are [[moved away into your separate battle voice channel. ->Butch Introduction]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'intro', 'loop', true)(track: 'intro', 'play') This is it. Another big moment. The semi-finals. 2 more opponents and you walk away from this entire competition the victor. Over the course of the week, you prepare yourself the best you can, as always, unsure of the details of your next competitor other than their name; Adrian. Nevertheless, you forge on the best you can. But as sure as death and taxes, Saturday rolls around and the competition picks up as it always seems to. You can't even bear to listen to The Host announce the opening of this week, you're simply too used to the monotony of it that you have no interest in listening too closely this time. But, you get a good look at Adrian in the meantime, and devise some new jabs to add to your repertoire. You come back to focus somewhere near the end of his opening speech. Now, let's get on with the fights shall we? Let's see who's first! Ooh, it looks like....$playerName and Adrian! Let's make some noise for these two! The cheers and the applause are somewhat uplifting, despite the fact that you've heard so much cheering now you feel like any more will make you nauseous. [[Regardless, you and Adrian are pulled into a battle channel shortly after. ->Adrian Introduction]]

(if: $optionalWin is 1)[(set: $playerLevel = 18)(set: $playerBravado = 125)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 125)(set: $playerATK = 95)(set: $playerDef = 100)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 10)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)](else:)[(set: $playerLevel = 15)(set: $playerBravado = 100)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 100)(set: $playerATK = 85)(set: $playerDef = 95)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)] (masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'intro', 'loop', true)(track: 'intro', 'play') It's been a week since the battles between you and Adrian, and the other pair of semi-finalists. You've had plenty of time to put yourself together, to get plenty of rest, to come up with anything that you plan on using in the final fight. All of the hard work and effort, as well as the feelings of burnout and exhaustion, have been leading up to this moment; you and one other person in a final fight for the victory. At this point, you start to wonder if the Wachelorette is even worth all of what you've put into this thing. It's just a girl, right? The victory, the glory....that's what's starting to feel more appealing now. Having come this far, it would be crushing to have it all feel for naught. All those thoughts racing in your head, you eagerly await the moment where you finally get to stare down your competitor eye to eye, and let the cards fall where they may. Before you know it, the time has arrived. The players are in place, the stage is set, and all that is left is The Host. Good evening LADIES and GENTLEMAN! It's me, your dashing host, welcoming you back to our season finale of "The Wachelor:tm:"! This is the big one folks! All the marbles are at stake here, everything is on the line as our two competitors, Biff and $playerName, take the stage. Let's hear it for em and how hard they've worked to get here! Alright! So now that we've got things out of the way, why don't we let our competitors say a little about themselves! Let our audience know why you've stuck with it as much as you have. Obviously, we know what goals you have in mind here, but anything you'd like to share, feel free guys! Biff, your opponent, [[takes the mic first.->Biff Introduction]]

(if: $enemyName is "Chazzz") [(set: $enemyChoice = 1)](else:) [(set: $enemyChoice = (random: 0,2))] (if: $enemyChoice is 0) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado - ($enemyATK - $playerDef))$enemyName (either: "spats out an insult about your mother. How original.", "makes a weak jab about how you look like you got in a bad fight with a horse. What does that even mean?", "tries to mock your sense of fashion, but does so poorly. Your style is always impeccable.") ](if: $enemyChoice is 1) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado - (($enemyATK + $enemyInsultBonus) - $playerDef))$enemyName (either: "threatens you with a 'Don't make me come over there!', which isn't very intimidating, but you'd rather not have it happen anyway.", "threatens to shatter several key bones in your skeletal system. Now that's not very nice.", "tears a part of their shirt off and screams menacingly. It's quite strange, but also kinda scary.") ](if: $enemyChoice is 2) [(set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado + ((floor:$enemyMaxBravado/10)))$enemyName takes a few moments to catch their breath, restoring a little Bravado!] (if: $enemyBravado > $enemyMaxBravado)[(set: $enemyBravado = $enemyMaxBravado)] (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! (if: $playerLevel is 12 and $optionalWin is 0)[[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! -> Special Game Over]] (else:)[[[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! $enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! (if: $playerLevel is 2) [[[You win! -> You Win! 2]]] (if: $playerLevel is 5)[[[You win! -> You Win! 3]]] (if: $playerLevel is 8)[[[You win! -> You Win! 4]]] (if: $playerLevel is 12 and $optionalWin is 0)[[[You win! -> You Win! 5]]](if: $playerLevel is 12 and $optionalWin is 1)[[[You win! -> You Win! 5.5]]] (if: $playerLevel is 15) [[[You win! -> You Win! 6]]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [(if: $playerLevel is 2)[[The battle continues on! -> Battle 2]]] (if: $playerLevel is 5)[[[The battle continues on! -> Battle 3]]] (if: $playerLevel is 8)[[[The battle continues on! -> Battle 4]]](if: $playerLevel is 12 and $optionalWin is 0) [[[The battle continues on! -> Battle 5]]] (if: $playerLevel is 18 and $optionalWin is 1) [[[The battle continues on! -> Battle 6]]] (if: $playerLevel is 15) [[[The battle continues on! -> Battle 6]]]]

(set: $attackValue = $playerATK - $enemyDef)(if: $attackValue < 0) [ ](else:) [(set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado - $attackValue)] You (either: "remark on how $enemyName's shirt really shows off their biceps so well today.", "say how $enemyName's clothes do look very nice, but you'd rather see what's underneath them.", "say that if you had a penny for every time you looked at $enemyName and thought they were hot, you'd be as rich as Bill Gates.", "say that if $enemyName was a pie, they'd be a cutie pie.") (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! $enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! (if: $playerLevel is 2) [[You win! -> You Win! 2]] (if: $playerLevel is 5)[[You win! -> You Win! 3]] (if: $playerLevel is 8)[[You win! -> You Win! 4]] (if: $playerLevel is 12)[[You win! -> You Win! 5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 1)[[You win! -> You Win! 5.5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 0)[[You win! -> You Win! 6]] (if: $playerLevel is 18) [[You win! -> You Win! 6]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (All)]]]

(set: $attackValue = (($playerATK + $insultAtkBonus)- $enemyDef))(if: $attackValue < 0) [ ](else:) [(set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado - $attackValue)] You deliver a sick burn straight to $enemyName, (either: "comparing their face to the inside of a nuclear reactor!", "insinuating they look like the dirty affair of a goat and Steve Buscemi!", "stating that their gene pool could use a little chlorine!", "saying they have about the subtlety of a brick, and the depth of a puddle!") (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! $enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! (if: $playerLevel is 2) [[You win! -> You Win! 2]] (if: $playerLevel is 5)[[You win! -> You Win! 3]] (if: $playerLevel is 8)[[You win! -> You Win! 4]] (if: $playerLevel is 12)[[You win! -> You Win! 5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 1)[[You win! -> You Win! 5.5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 0)[[You win! -> You Win! 6]] (if: $playerLevel is 18) [[You win! -> You Win! 6]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (All)]]]

(set: $enemyDef = $enemyDef - (floor: $enemyDef/4))(set: $debuffCounter = 2) You (either: "Do The Monkey (Johnny Bravo!) on $enemyName this time!", "start whipping and nae-naeing on this fool.", "start TikTok dancing on this clown.", "make like Ricardo Milos and go all-out with the dancin'.") $enemyName's Defense is cut in half! (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! $enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! (if: $playerLevel is 2) [[You win! -> You Win! 2]] (if: $playerLevel is 5)[[You win! -> You Win! 3]] (if: $playerLevel is 8)[[You win! -> You Win! 4]] (if: $playerLevel is 12)[[You win! -> You Win! 5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 1)[[You win! -> You Win! 5.5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 0)[[You win! -> You Win! 6]] (if: $playerLevel is 18) [[You win! -> You Win! 6]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (All)]]]

(if: (random: 0, 9) is 9) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado + (ceil:$playerMaxBravado/2))](else:) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerBravado + (ceil:($playerMaxBravado/4)))](if: $playerBravado > $playerMaxBravado) [(set: $playerBravado = $playerMaxBravado)](set: $enemyBravado = $enemyBravado - ((round:$playerATK/4))) You (either: "flex like He-Man to intimidate this poor bastard!", "pose like The Thinker! Boom! Boom! Firepower!", "pose like Clark Kent about to turn into Superman, hands clutching the clothes on your chest!", "pose with all the grace of a K-Pop star!") (if: $playerBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[Your Bravado has fallen below 0! You have lost! ->Game Over]]] (else-if: $enemyBravado < 1) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! $enemyName's Bravado has fallen below zero! (if: $playerLevel is 2) [[You win! -> You Win! 2]] (if: $playerLevel is 5)[[You win! -> You Win! 3]] (if: $playerLevel is 8)[[You win! -> You Win! 4]] (if: $playerLevel is 12)[[You win! -> You Win! 5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 1)[[You win! -> You Win! 5.5]] (if: $playerLevel is 15 and $optionalWin is 0)[[You win! -> You Win! 6]] (if: $playerLevel is 18) [[You win! -> You Win! 6]]] (else:) [Your Bravado is $playerBravado! $enemyName's Bravado is $enemyBravado! [[The battle continues on! -> Enemy Action (All)]]] (set: $poseTracker = $poseTracker + 1)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')(set: $playerResponse to (prompt: "What would you like to tell Arthur?", "Come back to me when you finally move out of your mom's basement, you disgusting cretin.")) God, it physically pains you how much of an absolute nerd Arthur is being, and you simply can't stand for that anymore. "$playerResponse" Arthur's disgusting snickering comes to a halt as he stares at his webcam, clearly not having been expecting any kind of retort. And $playerName just isn't having it! You love to see it folks! Now then! [[Let's get this battle underway! -> Battle 2]] (set: $enemyName = "Arthur")(set: $enemyLevel = 2) (set: $enemyBravado = 15)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 15)(set: $enemyATK = 12)(set: $enemyDef = 9)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 9)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 3)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')God, it physically pains you how much of an absolute nerd Arthur is being, but the good-natured part of your conscience can't find it in you to put him down. No final words $playerName? Very well! Er, thank you Arthur, I guess! Either way! The show must go on! [[Let's hit it! -> Battle 2]] (set: $enemyName = "Arthur")(set: $enemyLevel = 2) (set: $enemyBravado = 15)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 15)(set: $enemyATK = 12)(set: $enemyDef = 9)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 9)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 3)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')(set: $playerResponse to (prompt: "What would you like to say to Brad?", "You and I are a lot alike. I respect that, and I respect you. But you're not going anywhere")) Brad's words mean something to you. You and him are similar in a lot of ways. But you want this victory more than he does. "$playerResponse." Brad nods his head from his webcam. (font: "Verdana") [I suppose I should have expected as much. Very well. Let's settle this then.] Gosh, you two really know how to amp up the tension and the drama! I can't take it anymore! [[Let's go go GOOOOO! -> Battle 3]] (set: $enemyName = "Brad")(set: $enemyLevel = 5) (set: $enemyBravado = 30)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 30)(set: $enemyATK = 28)(set: $enemyDef = 25)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 25)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 3)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')Brad's words mean absolutely nothing to you. Granted, you and him are similar in a lot of ways. But he keeps on spouting these lines like this is some tropey anime or some shit, and you can't help but not care to answer him because of that. Brad says nothing more, he simply looks straight ahead at his webcam, and you by extension. Gosh, you two really know how to amp up the tension and the drama! I can't take it anymore! [[Let's go go GOOOOO! -> Battle 3]] (set: $enemyName = "Brad")(set: $enemyLevel = 5) (set: $enemyBravado = 30)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 30)(set: $enemyATK = 28)(set: $enemyDef = 25)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 25)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 3)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')(set: $playerResponse to (prompt: "What would you like to say to Butch?", "Only a virgin accuses other people of not being a virgin. What are you, 5?")) Honestly, Butch just pisses ya off. He's the kind of person that fucks with other people just to get under their skin, just to make em angry. In that sense, he's a good bully, because he's getting what he wanted right now. But you're standing up to him, unlike many others. "$playerResponse." Butch's face contorts into one of pure fire and rage, as red as the devil. (font: "Times New Roman") [The fuck did you just say to me? What did you say to me punk? I'll beat your fucking face in! I'll find your house and beat your ass so hard!] Ooh, looks like Butch can dish it, but he can't take it! A weak spot of his maybe? Who can say! [[Without further ado, let's get at it! -> Battle 4]] (set: $enemyName = "Butch")(set: $enemyLevel = 9) (set: $enemyBravado = 60)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 60)(set: $enemyATK = 43)(set: $enemyDef = 35)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 35)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 6)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')You might hate Butch. You might hate his entire demeanor. You might hate every single word that just came out of his mouth. But you know better than to stoop down to the level of bully. You keep your mouth shut. (font: "Times New Roman") [Heh, I knew it. They're totally a virgin. What a loser.] Tough to say, Butchie my boy. Maybe $playerName has got more brains in their head than you have muscles. Or maybe they're just not feeling up to it today. Who can tell? Certainly not me! But that's enough banter from me! $playerName! Butch! Round 1! [[FIGHT! -> Battle 4]] (set: $enemyName = "Butch")(set: $enemyLevel = 9) (set: $enemyBravado = 60)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 60)(set: $enemyATK = 43)(set: $enemyDef = 35)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 35)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 6)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'final', 'loop', true)(track: 'final', 'play')(set: $playerResponse to (prompt: "What would you like to say to Biff?", "I don't give a f*** what else you have to say. I'm gonna end this here and now. No more, no less")) You've taken enough shit from most of the other competitors you've demolished in your path. Anything Biff has thrown or will continue to throw at you means absolutely nothing to you now. "$playerResponse." Biff doesn't seem fazed at all. He makes no noticable reactions to what you said. ALRIGHT! The final words of our competitors have been spoken! Let the final battle of this season of "The Wachelor:tm:" [[BEGIN! -> Battle 6]] (set: $enemyName = "Biff")(set: $enemyLevel = 17) (set: $enemyBravado = 135)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 135)(set: $enemyATK = 105)(set: $enemyDef = 80)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 80)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 5)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'final', 'loop', true)(track: 'final', 'play')You've taken enough shit from most of the other competitors you've demolished in your path. Anything Biff has thrown or will continue to throw at you means absolutely nothing to you now. You say nothing at all. You and Biff seem to stoicly stare each other down, neither of you flinching or moving, eyes transfixed on each other. ALRIGHT! Gents, you're killing me with this drama! Anyway, the final words of our competitors have been spoken! Let the final battle of this season of "The Wachelor:tm:" [[BEGIN! -> Battle 6]] (set: $enemyName = "Biff")(set: $enemyLevel = 17) (set: $enemyBravado = 135)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 135)(set: $enemyATK = 105)(set: $enemyDef = 80)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 80)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 5)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'kefka', 'loop', true)(track: 'kefka', 'play') Abruptly, Chazzz enters the same voice channel where you and Adrian had been going at it not moments ago. (font: "Comic Sans MS") [Hey there twat! I want a rematch! You OWE me a rematch after all! Yeah ya do!] You're really not feeling in the mood to go through another battle after the one with Adrian. These fights tend to take a lot out of you. Chazzz, how in the f**-I mean, Chazzz! Darling! Whatever brings you back here? I thought you ran away and would never be coming back. (font: "Comic Sans MS") [I deserve a rematch! I got cheated out of a fair fight! I never had a chance! I deserve a rematch dammit!] Chazzz, language, this is a family-friendly show. Look kid, I'll cut you a deal. If $playerName agrees to having one, you can have your little rematch. BUT. As you have been disqualified from the competition following your initial loss, this match will have no bearing on the rest of the competition. So if you win, hoorah, hurray, you've proven you can insult your way through one match, since that's all ya did the first time. Now, $playerName, here's where I'm gonna sweeten the deal for you. If you win, I'll give you an advantage going into the finals. Just a little boost to give you an edge. How does that sound? [[Will you agree to have a rematch? -> Agree to the rematch]] [[Or decline any rematch? -> Decline the rematch]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')(set: $playerResponse to (prompt: "What would you like to say to Adrian?", "You know what man, I'm a little burned out of all this. But I'm gonna do my best. Alright?")) You feel like you can open up to Adrian a bit. There's something about you two, despite being absolute strangers that seem like pretty ordinary people, that feels like you can drop your guard a bit and relax. "$playerResponse." (font: "Calibri") [Yeah, I understand man. I've felt pretty burnt out by this competition. But hey, good luck. I'll try to do my best for you.] Awwwwww, would you look at you softies! It's absolutely adorable! But the clock's ticking! We got a match to get to gents,[[so let's dig in! -> Battle 5]] (set: $enemyName = "Adrian")(set: $enemyLevel = 13) (set: $enemyBravado = 85)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 85)(set: $enemyATK = 68)(set: $enemyDef = 65)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 65)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 4)

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'battle', 'loop', true)(track: 'battle', 'play')You simply shake your head, declining to speak up and opting instead to prepare yourself for the big fight. There's no room for weakness now. (font: "Times New Roman") [Good luck man, we'll see how this goes.] Alllllright gentleman, with no further delays,[[we'll get right into it! -> Battle 5]] (set: $enemyName = "Adrian")(set: $enemyLevel = 13) (set: $enemyBravado = 85)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 85)(set: $enemyATK = 68)(set: $enemyDef = 65)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 65)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 4)

How do you want to do this? [[Flirt. ->Action Results (All) 1]] - Main offensive move. Deals damage to enemy Bravado. [[Insult. ->Action Results (All) 2]] - Secondary offensive move. Deals more Bravado damage than Flirt, but at a cost. [[Dance. ->Action Results (All) 3]] - Debuff move. Lowers enemy defense for 2 turns, decreasing resistance to all offensive attacks. (if: $poseTracker > 1) [No more poses available this battle!] (else:) [[[Pose. ->Action Results (All) 4]]] - Primary healing move. Restores a partial amount of Bravado, with a small chance of restoring a great amount of Bravado. Also deals some Bravado damage. Limited use per battle. (if: $debuffCounter is 0) [(set: $enemyDef = $enemyMaxDef)] (else:) [(set: $debuffCounter = $debuffCounter -1)]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'victory', 'play')And with one final hit, you knock Chazzz back into submission for the second time. It was a hard fought battle, especially right on the heels of a first one, but you've come out of both fights today on top. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! $playerName hasn't gone through ONE battle, but TWO today, and IS STILL STANDING! IT'S RIDICULOUS! Ridiculously BADA**, DARE I SAY! Bravo! Bravo! A round of cheers for $playerName everybody! The onset applause and cheers makes you feel...strange. You find it kind of funny, in a way. This competition has really thrown all walks of life at you, including a bratty child you've had to put down twice now, but you're still standing in this competition you didn't expect to make it 2 minutes into. But you're a finalist now, and there's only one challenge left before you. What a SHOW, ladies and gentlement! And what a host, if I do say so myself! And I do! Anyway! All of us here at "The Wachelor:tm:" will see you next week as our finalists duke it out in a virtual and metaphorical bare-knuckle brawl! Only one will stand as the victor at the end! Either way, we'll all find out next week! Until then! Have a good night! You take that as your cue to head out once more. You really need the rest this time, god damn. This kid's put you through hell, but at least only one obstacle lies before you. And one obstacle before that. [[Taking a nap. -> New Competitor]] (set: $optionalWin = 1)(set: $playerLevel = 18)(set: $playerBravado = 125)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 125)(set: $playerATK = 95)(set: $playerDef = 100)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 10)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

With a parting insult, Chazzz beats you into submission as your Bravado drops below 0. You....you don't quite know how to feel. It's your first loss in this style of combat. Sure, it doesn't matter in terms of the competition, but it feels....wrong. You feel like you shouldn't have lost. You feel like this little shithead just marched back in here, got what he wanted and now he's going to gloat to his shithead friends, saying that he won. It feels....wrong. You feel yourself seeing red. Wow! How about that! Chazzz, I'll say this much. You stepped up your game, and you beat $playerName. No one else in this competition has been able to say that before. But you don't win anything. You don't get anything from this, man. Maybe if you left here, shaped up your attitude so you weren't such an insufferable prick all the time, you'd make something of yourself and be of worth to society. Like I get it, you're still young and stuff, but damn dude, you gotta quit slacking or the rest of the world is gonna leave you behind. Chazzz hasn't been paying attention for a single god damn second. He's been hooting and hollering to himself, trying to grab the attention of anyone in his house who'll pay the slightest bit of attention to him and dragging them over to his computer, pointing at shapes in the corners of his webcam as he squeals like a child half his age. Alright Chazzz, you're a disappointment to humanity, have a nice liiiiiiiiiife. And with that, Chazzz is permanently banned from the Discord server. Well folks at home, that was uh, something. We'll see you all next week in our finals match! Till next time! You immediately disconnect from the call and go lay down to think over everything. You can't believe that happened. You can't believe they'd allow that to happen. And yet it did. You sigh to yourself, and try to let all these lingering thoughts and feelings go. You decide to [[go take a nap -> New Competitor]], as sleeping it off usually does the trick. (set: $playerLevel = 15)(set: $playerBravado = 100)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 100)(set: $playerATK = 85)(set: $playerDef = 95)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

(track: 'tada', 'play') <h2>(font: "Helvetica") [THE WACHELOR:tm: THE GAME]</h2> Version 2.0 A fictional Role Playing Game set in the style of The Bachelor, featuring 20 contestants, or Wachelors, battling it out for the affections of a single Wachelorette. Except it's all virtual due to Covid-19. You, as the player, have to Flirt, Insult, Dance and Pose your way into the good graces of the Wachelorette and Rip and Tear through anyone that would stand in your way. WARNING: Created and programmed by Ryan Willett [[Click here to play. ->Plot Intro]] [[Patch Notes. ->Patch Notes]] [[Music/Sound Effects Credits. ->Music/Sound Effect Credits]]

(masteraudio: 'stopall')(track: 'chazzz', 'loop', true)(track: 'chazzz', 'play')You feel exhausted. You feel like you already left everything you had in the battle with Adrian. But just hearing Chazzz's entitled, whiny demeanor fills you with a rage that you didn't even know you had. "Listen up, you little b****. Yeah, I'm agreeing to this rematch. But you better have brought everything you have to give. Because if you hesitate for one moment, I will curb-stomp you into the Stone Age where you belong. Do you understand me?" You hear what sounds like a gasp at first. You thought you might have shut him up for a second until an ungodly screech pierces your ears, emanating from Chazzz's mouth. (font: "Comic Sans MS") [YESSSSSSSSS! YES YES YES YES! You stupid idiot, I got you to agree to a rematch! Ha ha ha! I'm going to totally beat you this time!] Alright Chazzz, just stop talking. I don't want to hear any more words from you until the match starts, got it? You sure you want to do this, $playerName? I'm gonna give you one last chance to back out if you want. You simply shake your head, indicating that you're in this, come hell or high water. Alright then! The stage is set! A rematch between Chazzz and $playerName! Bragging rights are on the line, and an advantage for $playerName if they win! It's all or nothing, and I can't wait to see who takes home the pot! SO! CHAZZZ! $playerName! [[ANTE UP! -> Battle 5.5]] (set: $enemyName = "Chazzz")(set: $enemyLevel = 16) (set: $enemyBravado = 115)(set: $enemyMaxBravado = 115)(set: $enemyATK = 100)(set: $enemyDef = 70)(set: $enemyMaxDef = 70)(set: $enemyInsultBonus = 10)

You really didn't feel like fighting Chazzz the first time around. And you sure as hell don't feel like fighting him again, especially after suffering through another brawl before this little punk came crashing his way into things. "Chazzz, I'm only gonna say this once. Fuck. Off. I refuse." Chazzz is visibly fuming. You can tell that this rematch meant far to him than it will ever mean to you, and that refusal is going to set him off. (font: "Comic Sans MS") [YOU CAN'T. YOU OWE ME YOU FUCKER. YOU OWE ME. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-] Now now, that's enough Chazzz. $playerName has given their answer, now get lost for real this time. Like so many competitors before, Chazzz has now been permanently banned from the Discord. Hopefully, that'll be the last you'll have to hear of his whiny voice. Look, $playerName, I'm gonna be honest. I really don't blame you for doing that. Dare I say it, I'd do the same. But hey, let's not dwell on that anymore, okay? Perk up! You're a god damn finalist for this season! Go on, get out of here. We'll see you next week, alright? Have a good one, man. At The Host's ushering, you leave the voice channel before he can even hype up the crowd for next week's big event. But it's fine, you honestly need the rest. There's only so much time left to prepare for the big event. But first things first. [[A nap is in order. -> New Competitor]] (set: $playerLevel = 15) (set: $playerBravado = 100) (set: $playerMaxBravado = 100) (set: $playerATK = 80) (set: $playerDef = 90) (set: $optionalWin = 0) (set: $debuffCounter = 0) (set: $poseTracker = 0)

tada: https://www.dropbox.com/s/xjlar4gf4952z30/SOUND%20EFFECT%20TADA.mp3?dl=1 ping: https://www.dropbox.com/s/4782pv6b3d8esrn/Discord%20MentionNotificationPing%20Sound%20Effect%20%5BMP3%5D.mp3?dl=1 join: https://www.dropbox.com/s/6gwk1412ubb0ji2/Discord%20Join%20Sound%20Effect%20%28download%29.mp3?dl=1 who: https://www.dropbox.com/s/c7j9peqn9dj4f5j/Skyrim%2C%20Who%20are%20you.mp3?dl=1 kefka: https://www.dropbox.com/s/hqbtkt35qyhmwug/Final%20Fantasy%20VI%20Music%20-%20Kefka%27s%20Theme.mp3?dl=1 battle: https://www.dropbox.com/s/fus2n6g8psqc31s/Deltarune%20OST%2010%20-%20Rude%20Buster.mp3?dl=1 victory: https://www.dropbox.com/s/xbtrcp14twwi08e/Final%20Fantasy%20VII%20-%20Victory%20Fanfare%20%5BHQ%5D.mp3?dl=1 finalv: https://www.dropbox.com/s/2uwlszs9xj9kvjr/Battle%20%26%20Victory%20Theme%20Medley%20%28From%20Final%20Fantasy%20Series%29.mp3?dl=1 chazzz: https://www.dropbox.com/s/y1lrqihav5p0xsf/Coconut%20Mall%20-%20Mario%20Kart%20Wii%20%5BOST%5D.mp3?dl=1 intro: https://www.dropbox.com/s/rusjdpni0aqxi90/Undertale%20OST%20049%20-%20It%27s%20Showtime%21.mp3?dl=1 final: https://www.dropbox.com/s/0dws0yzjmcr9rcw/JoJo%27s%20Bizarre%20Adventure%20Stardust%20Crusaders%20OST%20-%20Noble%20Pope.mp3?dl=1 record: https://www.dropbox.com/s/kgcxbt8jg4zgd5g/record%20scratch%20fanfare.mp3?dl=1 go: https://www.dropbox.com/s/txx8nj45vxt50ne/Game%20Over%20-%20The%20Legend%20of%20Zelda%20Twilight%20Princess.mp3?dl=1 over: https://www.dropbox.com/s/k7w7dqcfliqk88s/Rubrum%20Cucullo.mp3?dl=1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO ANY OF THE TRACKS LISTED BELOW. Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act of 1976, allowance is made for Fair Use for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and more. No copyright infringement intended. Tracks listed in order of appearance. <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjxf-eQWKoo"></a> SOUND EFFECT TADA - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjxf-eQWKoo">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjxf-eQWKoo</a> Discord Ping - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4wPQgiLT98">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4wPQgiLT98</a> Skyrim, Who are you? - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZutiWaACFJc">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZutiWaACFJc</a> Undertale OST: 049 - It's Showtime! - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uwEAugeH8w">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uwEAugeH8w</a> Final Fantasy VI - Kefka's Theme - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O11KHKlGxmM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O11KHKlGxmM</a> Coconut Mall - Mario Kart Wii - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY7SxnKqMmE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QY7SxnKqMmE</a> Final Fantasy VII - Victory Fanfare - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YCN-a0NsNk">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YCN-a0NsNk</a> Deltarune - Rude Buster - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYVhUjee-oM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYVhUjee-oM</a> Record Scratch sound effect: <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_rBo-M9MgY">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_rBo-M9MgY</a> JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders OST - Noble Pope - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gjg3Ib-y54">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gjg3Ib-y54</a> Battle & Victory Theme Medley (From "Final Fantasy Series") (timestamp - 4:36) - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIc4-oF84GU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIc4-oF84GU</a> Game Over - The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNHXsIV-xps">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNHXsIV-xps</a> Final Fantasy VI - Epitaph - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxKu7vlv_PY">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxKu7vlv_PY</a> Rubrum Cucullo - <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBB1ZzvFoI">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eBB1ZzvFoI</a>

VERSION 2.0 -Added over 14 music tracks and sound effects to the game -Added visual representations of the main antagonists of the game -Various tweaks to in-game dialogue -Various balance fixes to in-game battles and stats -Various bug fixes -Removed Herobrine Version 1.0 -created the game -removed Herobrine

<img src = "https://i.redd.it/emhmfavi9nl51.jpg" width="400" height ="400"> This time, you're not the opening match like you were last week. Instead, it's some guy named Brad against another guy named Pietro. You watch through the match, seeing Brad quickly dominate his opponent with a flurry of tactful insults and moves, before Pietro, similar to Chazzz, goes running for the hills. "Damn, what a guy", you think to yourself, before The Host interjects. Alright folks, what a BANGER of a match! Let's give it up for Brad everybody! Next up, let's give it up for $playerName and Arthur, in our next battle! With a small host of cheers and claps, The Host pulls you and Arthur into your separate competitive voice channel. Okay you two! Any final words before we kick things off? (font: "Papyrus") [*snicker* *snicker* Let's make this quick, I have a Dungeons and Dragons game to get to at 7.] [[Would you like to reply to Arthur before the fight starts? -> Fuck Arthur]] [[Or grit your teeth and let it go? -> Arthur ain't worth it]] (set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)(set: $playerLevel = 2)(set: $playerBravado = 15)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 15)(set: $playerATK = 10)(set: $playerDef = 10)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 2)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

<img src = "https://yt3.ggpht.com/ytc/AAUvwnhfbgEAdBAdJxc8O4EqjV0OGEuBikBrlfOya4kvOw=s900-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj" width="400" height ="400"> ALLLLLLLRIGHT, wasn't that a cool fight folks? I thought it was great! But enough about what I think, because this next fight is all about what you guys think! Your two rising stars in this competition so far, Brad and $playerName! Only one of them can make it to the quarterfinals! Oh who's it going to be? The suspense is killing me! Alright you two, anything you want to get out of the way before we bring this exciting match to the audience? (font: "Verdana") [Sure, I suppose I can say a few words. I'm looking forward to this fight. I didn't have a whole lot of stock in this competition before I joined it. But I'm here now. And I'll do whatever it takes to make it to the top. You hear that $playerName? I'll take you down however I have to. Got it?] [[Would you like to say anything to Brad before the fight starts? -> Talk to Brad]] [[Or not say anything? -> No Dialogue With Brad]] (set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)(set: $playerLevel = 5)(set: $playerBravado = 30)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 30)(set: $playerATK = 22)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 5)(set: $playerDef = 25)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

<img src = "https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSiVBMfk8I7AKNEtjKRUaCOtNVxeOw1QzgfLw&usqp=CAU" width="400" height ="400"> Alright! $playerName? Butch? Any last words before the match? (font: "Times New Roman") [Heheh, I bet you're a virgin. Why else would you be here? I'm sure you couldn't get a girl any other way than by pure dumb luck.] [[Would you like to say anything back to Butch before the fight starts? -> Fuck Butch]] [[Or grit your teeth and let it go? -> Butch ain't worth it]] (set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)(set: $playerLevel = 8)(set: $playerBravado = 45)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 45)(set: $playerATK = 34)(set: $playerDef = 40)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 6)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

<img src= "https://d1.awsstatic.com/Developer%20Marketing/evangelists/adrian-hornsby/pinpep_aws_portraits_020719_223.d3bba90246badddb9aca306a0c47b4384eb4000a.jpg" width="400" height ="400"> Alright gentleman, how are we feeling today? (font: "Calibri") [I guess I'm doing alright, how are you guys doing?] You say that you're doing okay, not too bad. You feel like a liar for saying it, but you don't know what else to do. Good to hear, good to hear! Any words before we begin guys? [[Would you like to say anything to Adrian before the fight starts? -> Talk to Adrian]] [[Or not say anything? -> No thanks Adrian]] (set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)(set: $playerLevel = 12)(set: $playerBravado = 75)(set: $playerMaxBravado = 75)(set: $playerATK = 55)(set: $playerDef = 60)(set: $insultAtkBonus = 8)(set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)

<img src = "https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/cf/Biff_Fowler2.jpg" width="400" height ="400"> (font: "Impact") [Yeah, so you know me, I'm Biff. I don't care to say too much about myself, cause it really doesn't matter. But I'm in this for myself, and because I'm going to prove my strength to this girl. I've proven myself so far and I'm going to take it all. That girl will be mine. That's it.] After that lovely introduction from Biff. You take over the mic, giving a brief overview of yourself and following that up by saying many of the same thoughts you'd been thinking about either. You say how you were randomly selected to be part of the competition, how you had so much uncertainty and anxiety, but win after win dispelled those feelings, even though they would come to be replaced with levels of exhaustion and burnout. You say how you've come this far now, you've become so much stronger than you were before, and that truth be told, you don't entirely care about the reward anymore. You care about being #1, the best. And you don't care what it takes, you'll be the one to get it. Damn damn damn, guys! You know how to create some suspense! Even I don't know who's going to take this one! I think I'm rooting for the both of you honestly, and I mean that as a fan, not a host! But Gentlemen. Any final words before we bring this season closer to an explosive end? (font: "Impact") [I'm going to take you down, guy. Plain and simple. No ifs ands or buts. I'm going for that girl, and I'm not hesitating to knock your ass down the mountain, as I have everyone else. Capiche?] [[Would you like to reply to Biff before the fight starts? -> Fuck Biff]] [[Or say nothing at all? -> Biff ain't worth it]](set: $debuffCounter = 0)(set: $poseTracker = 0)